29 September 2018


Why? Because it's too personal and it happens to me.

"I used to look up at the night sky and wonder, and I used to dream the dreams of a boy. I used to imagine that I was a superhero who could save the world. In an intro to one of our early albums, there's a line that says, 'My heart stopped when I was maybe 9 or 10.' Looking back, I think that's when I begin to worry about what other people thought of me and start seeing myself through their eyes. I stopped looking up at the night skies, the stars. I stopped daydreaming. Instead, I just tried to jam myself into the molds that other people made. Soon, I begin to shut out my own voice and started to listen to the voices of others. No one called out my name and neither did I. My heart stopped and my eyes closed shut. So, like this, I, we, all lost our names. We became like ghosts."

I always ask myself, "What's the purpose of me? Why do I even come into this world? Is this really the life I want?"

Like Namjoon, I used to dream a lot. I thought I can conquer the world and help people one day. But now I couldn't even find the purpose of myself. I have lost my way, I have lost my soul, I have lost my youth. Maybe this is the phase of adulting and every adult ever through the same thing. Worrying about anything. 

"So now I urge you to speak yourself. I'd like to ask all of you - what is your name? What excites you and makes your heart beat? Tell me your story. I wanna hear your voice. I wanna hear your conviction. No matter who you are, where you're from, your skin color, your gender identity, just speak yourself. Find your name and find your voice by speaking yourself."

I wish he will give a nice motivation speech on Ted Talks one day.

24 September 2018



I am a proud fan.

Sama sekali gak pernah kepikiran kalo BTS, idol group, akan duduk di ruangan itu dan berpidato. Sebelum mereka, mungkin saya dan orang - orang lainnya akan berfikir bahwa Kpop dan UN sama sekali gak ada korelasinya, sama sekali sesuatu yang gak mungkin dan gak perlu ada dalam satu kalimat. Tapi BTS membuat hal itu terjadi.

Jadi, BTS diundang sebagai Duta Persahabatan UNICEF ke Majelis Umum PBB sehubungan dengan peluncuran gerakan 'Generation Unlimited', mungkin karena ini ada kaitannya sama kampanye Love Myself mereka tahun lalu. Dan mereka - diwakili oleh RM - diberikan kesempatan untuk berpidato mengenai kampanya Love Myself mereka itu. 

Sebagai fans, saya bangga karena mereka menggunakan pengaruh mereka yang besar untuk hal - hal yang baik. Mereka gak pernah membuat Army kehabisan bahan untuk diomongin, hahaha. Kalo saya, bagian yang paling disuka dari speech itu adalah 'What excites you and makes your heart beat?'

08 September 2018


Karena ada terlalu banyak hal yang sukar untuk diungkapkan. Maka pada saat tertentu beberapa lagu bekerja dengan baik untuk setidaknya menjadi teman yang mengerti hal yang sukar diungkapkan tersebut. 

1. idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish
2. Hallucinating - Elohim
3. Epiphany - Jin BTS
4. Talk to Me - Cavetown
5. Lust of Love - Lana Del Ray
6. Home is Far Away - Epik High
7. Adult - Sondia
8. Dear Insecurity - Gnash ft Ben Abraham
9. Sufjan Stevens - Fourth of July
10. Something - George & Gan Hae In